Friday, January 20, 2012

I See You, I Hear You


Lately, we've been watching Parenthood on Netflix.  At first, it was difficult, because I just couldn't see Lauren Graham as anyone else but Lorelai Gilmore... but now I am getting used to it.  Sort of.  Actually, not really.  Anyway, that is not the point of this post.

The point of this post is that the senior Bravermans, Zeek and Camille, said something that peaked my interest.  Z & C are the parents of 4 adult children and the grandparents of many more children, and they have been having some serious marital problems.  In counseling, they learned the phrase, "I see you, I hear you."  When Zeek gets riled up and wants to start a fight, he stops himself and says this phrase, acknowledging Camille's thoughts and feelings.

Patrick and I liked this so much that we have started using the phrase in our every day lives.  See how art has become reality?  We don't have a lot of tension in our marriage right now, so we kind of just laugh when we say it and smile at each other.  It's really going to come in handy someday though, so we are practicing.

When you think about it, there is such a good concept behind this phrase.  We all have that desire to be seen and heard, don't we?  When we share our thoughts and feelings with another person, we are opening ourselves up to them.  We become so vulnerable.  Will this person understand?  Will they be gentle with my heart and try to really know me?  Will they think I am stupid, that my ideas are lame?  Will they not really hear what I am saying and insist that we do it their way without even hearing me out?  Even worse, will I get a patronizing response just to make me happy so that I'll go away?  Will they just talk louder so that they don't have to listen?  Or will I be met with silence... just leaving all my vulnerability hanging out there in space?  I think that one hurts the most of all.  That one makes you just want to take it all back.  And not try anymore.

When I am not seen or heard, I tend to build up brick walls around me, like a little cylindrical fortress.  I leave one brick out so that I can see out, but other people can't see in.  I realize this is wrong.  A cylindrical fortress is stifling, dark and cold... certainly not a place that place that promotes any life or growth.  I do it anyway.

But then there's God...

"O my dove, in the clefts of the rock, 
in the crannies of the cliff, 
let me see your face, 
let me hear your voice, 
for your voice is sweet, 
and your face is lovely."

Song of Solomon 2:14


My God is El Roi... "The God Who Sees."  Hagar knew this out in the wilderness, rejected and resented by Sarai.  She cried out to El Roi, the God who saw her, lonely and despairing.  He told her to name her son, Ishmael, meaning "God Hears."  He saw them and heard them in a tragic circumstance.  And He let them know.

Not matter where we are, whether we are purposely hiding in the cleft of a rock or wandering in a vast wilderness or even just lost in the masses, we are assured that God sees us and hears us.  This is who He is.  The God who is tender with us, like a dove.  He who gently persuades us to emerge so that He can listen to us and look upon our vulnerability with His tenderness and love.

I see you, I hear you, He gently tells His beloved.

I will not make fun of you.
I will not brush you off.
I understand what you are feeling... I have felt that, too.
Tell me about your thoughts.
I have noticed your struggles, how can I help?
I am right here beside you... I won't leave.

You can trust me.
With everything.

I love you.

I see you.

I hear you.


10 comments:

Simply Sara said...

first- i adore parenthood. seriously. chris and i always have the best conversations after watching it together.

second- i love this post linda.
you have such a gift with words.
i needed a reminder this morning that He sees and hears me.
thank you.

Susan said...

I have never seen it!
And true. We all just want to be acknowledged. You guys are such an inspiration.

Sandy said...

I love this post. As I read it, I kept thinking that Jesus is The Rock and if we hide in a cleft in Him, we will indeed be seen and heard and most of all loved.

Too often I like to just stay in the confines of my house so I don't have to face the different attitudes, responses or cold indifference of others. Thanks for reminding me of how great is our God and how loved we all are.

After re-reading my comment, I had to laugh. In reality, most people I come in contact with are kind, thoughtful and lovely people. It's just that I take it too personally when someone isn't like that. :o)

Denise said...

i just watched this episode again last week. we must be on the same netflix streak. :-) the other day as someone commented that my children will grow and leave,i corrected them saying when my family grows up we will be the bravermans.

and thank you, friend, for seeing me and hearing me. for being a bit of Him, with skin on this side of heaven and blogville.

(btw- i've also been watching "g.g" on c.w., i too can't let lorelei be sarah).

Ryan and Camille said...

Linda,
your verse songof songs 2:14 really spoke to me. thank you so much for your prayers and for your beautiful thoughts.

Bethany said...

Linda, as always, your words bring a smile to my face as God uses you as a beautiful instrument to speak His truth. I hate how Satan's lies of inadequacy can sneak up so quickly to rob us of the joy that Jesus wants so badly for us to experience. What an amazing reminder that, above all, HE hears and HE sees our struggles and fears!
Thank you dear friend for once again for being real, and for directing me to this post.
I look forward to spending time with you once I've recovered.
Love, Beth

Cassi said...

Oh I like this, amazing when God speaks to us though unexpected place like TV shows.

two birds said...

i remember that episode clearly! and yes, those words are so true. somehow that show always hits home...the writers are clearly parents, husbands and wives!

Nicole said...

ahh! seriously lovelovelove this show. it's so amazing.

xo

Deirdre said...

This is beautiful, and total appropriate for a marriage where we have been blessed with two amazing children who sometimes overpower our voices. I will begin to use this phrase in my everyday life, not just with my husband, but with my children, as well. To acknowledge that I will always appreciate them for just being them, and I "see them" and "hear them".

XO

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