I think there may be two or three men who read my blog... my husband, who won't care about this post and maybe one or two other guys. So to the one or two other guys, you may want to skip this feminine post. Consider yourselves duly warned.
Yesterday, I went to the doctor for my annual. Except that it wasn't really an "annual" since I hadn't gone since Jason was born which was, ahem.... six and a half years ago. I know, I'm bad. Please don't follow my poor example. Get yourselves checked out regularly. Early detection and avoiding bad stuff like cancer and all that.
Anyway, the doc (whom I happen to like a lot... he's helped me with hormonal balancing and such) said things were looking just fine, and he didn't expect anything abnormal to come back on my test results either. Oh, good. But then he said something kind of interesting.
Have I talked to you about bras yet, he asked.
Well, no, I don't think so.
He then informed me that he doesn't recommend them. He talked about lymph glands and such. Said some stuff about women's bodies being healthier without them and that they didn't have any bearing on sagging. He gave me some statistics that kind of flew around my head.
Trying not to look perplexed, I laid there in my flimsy pink gown trying to process this information.
Have you ever seen Joe Versus the Volcano? There's a character who repeatedly says, "I have no response to that." I think her name is Angelica.
I was laying there on the exam table thinking. Hmmm... not wear a bra. Then in my head, in my Angelica voice I thought... I have no response to that. I just don't. I mean, where do I begin. I have heard and read a lot of medical advice in the past year, but this one was just unexpected.
Consequently, I began having visions of myself at a Joan Baez concert dressed in a flowy, embroidered tunic with a garland of daisies adorning my head. I was singing Kumbaya and frolicking in the tall grass with the earth squishing between my toes. It was sort of nice, I guess.
But then I envisioned myself after the concert in normal clothes, and that wasn't as nice. I was crossing my arms a lot and looking down awkwardly. The people in this vision were also looking down awkwardly. It was all very awkward.
So I am quite unsure what to do with this advice. Are you feeling as awkward as I am? Does this call for a bra burning? I am so perplexed.
Please tell me your thoughts.