Monday, May 30, 2011

One False Move

The Valley: Part 3

A typical coastal morning, warm enough, but the fog hung in the air. It was Labor Day, and I had no concrete family plans. I needed to get out... to clear my head and retrain my thoughts.

How about a walk, my girlfriend suggested. Yes, that sounded like a perfect remedy. We would walk the oak laden trail to the seashore, surrounded by God's beautiful creation, and bare our souls. Maybe her kind, godly counsel and knowing laughter would help me to shake "the sisters" once and for all.

Cathartic. A sense of normalcy began to return to my being. I could exhale.

The dark clouds began to lift and their grip began to loosen.

We reached the glorious ocean just as the sun began to peek through the fog and dance upon the aqua waters. The salt scented air was intoxicating. I felt more settled inside... I felt happy.

Another older and wiser, respected friend "happened" to be there at the beach that day as well. I shared a bit of my struggles with her, and we all giggled at the journey known as "womanhood."

Hormones, she said. I bet you have a hormonal imbalance. It's an easy fix... it will all be ok. Don't worry about it, she assured me. You are NOT going crazy, she smiled.

I responded with a hesitant grin and nervous laughter, wanting to believe her sage advice.

This had been suggested to me before, and I deemed it was probably time to give it some serious attention. I felt hopeful and encouraged.  Perhaps this was the answer.

What I didn't know was that I had already made the false move that Anxiety and Depression had been waiting for all along. The chronic mental and physical stress I had been mismanaging for months had built up over the previous couple years.  And although it was just a walk, I finally pushed my body too far that day.  The proverbial straw that broke the camel's back.  Something had changed for the worse, and it was only the beginning of the darkest season of suffering I would ever endure.


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