Monday, November 9, 2009

On a road marked with suffering...

My emotional state has been in constant state of flux the past couple of weeks. I have been in deep states of sadness, have wrestled with anger, and have stared out the window, my mind swirling in confusion like the fall leaves in a sudden gust.

Why, Lord?

I don't understand.

And the tears well up in my eyes again and it is hard to see the answers.

Wendy was due to have her sweet, firstborn son, most likely on a windy Chicago day in early November.

But something happened. Something no one could foresee. The life she and Larry had been nurturing, praying for, waiting for with hopeful expectation, suddenly ended at 38 weeks.

She labored and gave birth to Jonathan Timothy. He was a beautiful little boy with perfectly formed features, who will someday be reunited with his extraordinary parents who have an amazing love for him.

Wendy and Larry have met this trial with tremendous hope and faith in God. It simply astounds me.

Wendy said, "Life is hard. . . but we have a strong God."

Instead of continuing to question, I am trying to take my thoughts captive and hold on to that truth. I am asking the Lord to help me wholeheartedly believe that he will work this out for good, because they truly love Him and are called according to His purposes. I need to trust in His strength.

Wendy and Larry... you are remarkable parents, and I will never forget your sweet JT and how he has touched my life. May the Lord continue to be your hope, your comfort, and your strength.

He gives and takes away...
my heart with chose to say

blessed be the name of the Lord.


Sandy said...

I have shed so many tears and said so many prayers for Wendy and Larry. You have written beautifully about their heartbreaking loss.

I'm so glad they are strong Believers who know their little boy is in heaven now with Jesus. But I know their pain is great and I will continue to lift them up to our great and merciful God each day.

Summer said...

that is truly amazing. we serve an amazingly strong God.

Marc said...

I will keep them in my prayers. I thank the Lord we have Him to lovingly hold their little boy.

Denise said...

woke up this a.m. with you on my mind. wanting to wrap my arms around you just for a moment linda.

10 yrs ago a friend and i were expecting together. my baby was 7 weeks premature, and a few months later hers had been born into heaven.
she walked through it in covered in God's grace upon grace. and i was undone, interceding, questioning, so deeply grieved. and grateful that God was covering her with his grace upon grace, she was the one who REALLY needed it.

did you know that jonathan means "God's gracious gift." i wonder what God grace God wants to lavish on them through their son. and it doesn't make sense, but i KNOW God will lavish His grace on them. His amazing grace (i experienced it when i lost my own son).

on your thoughts- remember what you said to me months ago linda, oh it changed me! you asked (punching bag post) if the thoughts came in third person? they did, and i learned to recognize more lies, and live in more TRUTH.

stand strong my friend! " these egyptians (for me, those that keep me a slave to lies) you see, you will never see again, the Lord will fight for you, you need only to be still." (exodus)

and last i have been reading donald millers new book (so good) here is a paragraph that has spoken to me
(he had just hiked the machu pichu trail in peru) "the pain made the city more beautiful. The story made us different characters than if we'd showed up at the ending an easier way. It made me think about the hard lives so many people have had, the sacrifices they've endured, and how those people will see heaven differently from those of us who have had easier lives."

i can't wait for heaven. i know that because of the pain, my God- Rescuer, Healer, Truth, Protector, Light, Lover....will be more beautiful. i want that.

i want that for you.

Jamie said...

linda i am so glad we can cast our sorrows upon the LORD for HIM to take from us and bring us comfort. I just think you are amazing and so tenderhearted!!

Linda Z said...

Denise... what an extraordinary encouragement. It has blessed me and comforted me in so many ways. Thank you for taking the time to write it all out. I will be chewing on it all week.

Jamie... thanks for helping me with the necklace. I am still praying about the verse the Lord wants to use. I am so happy that you are going to be the one to make it.

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