Jason and I danced in the kitchen today, barefooted and in our pajamas. It was a song about the simple things with a Jack Johnson kind of feel. We smiled and laughed and danced. Just him and me.
And then he looked up at me and said, "Mommy, please hold me. I need to be in your heart."
So I scooped him up into my arms. He hugged me tightly and we twirled and danced some more.
When we were tired, I sat down on the couch and he climbed into my lap and rested his sweet head in the crook of my arm. He put his thumb in his mouth and curled his chubby forefinger around his nose and looked at me with his twinkling, chocolate brown eyes. I told him how much I love him and how special he is, and he shook his head knowingly. His eyelashes slowly began to flutter and his breathing became long and even, and he gave way to his dreams.
I savored the moments, which didn't last very long. Suddenly, my little dancing partner leapt up and took my hand, leading me to his room.
"You're the kid, now, and I'm the dad. It's time to take your nap," he said.
I climbed in bed and he pulled the covers up around my neck and blew me a kiss.
"I'll tell you a story now. This one. Adan and Eve were with the animals. There were elephants. And then they made a boat. The End. Ok, you got to sleep now, because you're the kid. I'll give you some music, ok? Sleep now. Don't fall outta the bed, ok?" And he blew me another kiss and shut the door.
And in a milestone moment, my baby practically outgrew my lap and became a big boy. My heart doesn't know whether to ache with loss or swell with pride. For now, I'll rest in the limbo and hope for another cuddle in the morning... I certainly haven't outgrown it. I don't think I ever will.