Friday, December 19, 2008

My Heart for the Unborn: Part 4

(Read part 1 here, part 2 here, and part 3 here.)

In the morning, O LORD, you hear my voice;

in the morning I lay my requests before you

and wait in expectation.

Psalm 5:3

I have never audibly heard the voice of God, but there have been many times in my life He has distinctly spoken to my heart. As I prayed the morning I would have my first ultrasound, I was given a very clear answer. I asked God to prepare my heart for whatever the ultrasound might reveal... specifically, that if I was carrying a Down's baby, I would have an unconditional, God-given love for it. The answer came before I even stood up, and it was two-fold. The baby did not have Down's Syndrome and it would be a boy... not the girl I was convinced it would be. The secondary answer actually surprised me more than the first, as this pregnancy (with migraines and stroke-like symptoms) had been so different from my pregnancy with Josh.

Indeed, the technician confirmed what I already knew, and I remember Patrick was surprised that I wasn't taken aback by any of it. It was one of many gifts God would give to me in conjunction with this pregnancy.

Other gifts came in the form of verses given to me by three different women on the same day. I wrote Isaiah 43:2 (from a beautiful mother a 3), 1 John 4:18 (from a beautiful friend struggling with infertility), and Psalm 18:2 (from the beautiful woman who gave birth to me) on little 3x5 cards and packed them for the hospital. These were such treasures and affirmations of God's presence throughout Jason's delivery as Patrick faithfully read them to me. I'm not sure how I even heard this Scripture through all of my yelling, but somehow the Word transcended.

And then there was the gift of the doctor who happened to be on call at sunrise on June 10, 2005. Not my normal doctor, but the one I had prayed for and God graciously allowed to be there... the one that didn't make me feel like a number or a bad girl. I know this will sound so bizarre, but he asked me if I wanted to see my placenta, as I was comfortably nursing my newborn. He called it an amazing home that had been so perfectly made for my baby, and I felt like in that moment he was affirming the blessing of life. I get tears in my eyes even thinking how much that meant to me.

I am so amazed and thankful for 2 adorable little boys. They are a blessing I never thought I would have. You see, I had a series of health issues in my 20's, and I honestly didn't think I'd ever be able to conceive. I had a few adopted friends growing up, and I was completely at peace about taking that route... something Patrick and I had agreed upon while we were courting. Recently, as we have been talking and praying about having another child, we have been given direction once again. Having another biological child is not in God's plan for our family... in fact, I would feel disobedient in doing so. No, this child whether unborn, or a child perhaps living in my own community, will be one who needs our family, and we will have the honor of adopting just as God adopted us into His own family.

And thus begins our journey to become Foster Adopt parents.
We will wait in expectation...


nicole viola said...

How exciting! I always love hearing you share your heart, Linda. And I'm excited to follow along in this next journey with you, albeit "virtually." :)

Sandy said...

I'm so happy that God put you and Patrick together, you seem to share one heart in so many situations. I can't wait to see how the Lord will work out all the details in your new adventure. I've been praying for this little one that we have yet to meet.

Love you!!

Linda Z said...

Thanks, Nicole!

And thanks for being my faithful prayer warrior, Mom!! :)

Soderin Family said...

Thanks for sharing Linda. I cannot wait to see how God uses you and your precious family to bless the life of another child.

Colleen said...

This one brought tears to my eyes. I'm sure you've seen my comments on Patrick's blog, but I'm so excited for you guys on this new journey! You have a heart for the unborn, I have a heart for the unloved (which in many cases overlap). I'm so happy that you are welcoming one into your home, and giving him or her the much needed and deserved love of a family. Looking forward to hearing about it!

Anna Hosking said...

I read this yesterday but I was too moved to comment - I didn't know what to say! I have such a heart for adoption and will be praying for your family. Our dear friends here in V-town just adopted a baby girl and it was the most amazing experience. You and Patrick are so RAD to open your hearts and allow God to lead you in this way. Can't wait to see who will join your fam!

Denise said...

first, in my house it isn't officially christmas until "sleigh ride" by amy grant has played. so it was delightful to listen to it as i read.

my sister just found out yesterday (after waiting months) that they will be receiving 2 little boys in january through the foster care program.

how exciting for you, and a different kind of pregnancy to experience...the process of becoming parents through adoption.
may God go before you and behind you on the journey.

merry christmas!

Alana said...

I love your heart. I pray God's blessings for you as you start this new adventure!

Anonymous said...

I pray you will be as blessed as my husband and I have been. We have 9 children. Six are adopted through the foster care system. We started our journey with a four year old little girl. After her adoption the agency called and told us that a beautiful baby boy had been born and they always like to keep the siblings together. We picked him up from the hospital as a newborn. After his adoption 16 months later other baby boy had been born, we took him home from the hospital. Then nine months later....... a baby girl was born, we received her as a newborn. All children are now adopted. The birth mother was drug and alcohol addicted. AND THIS IS GOD'S BLESSING..... THE BABIES WERE ALL BORN NEGATIVE AND ARE ON TARGET DEVELOPMENTALLY. TRULY A GIFT FROM GOD. OUR GIFT!!!!

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