The little J-Bear has been on a crazy potty training adventure the last 2-3 months. I am now going to describe a very comical morning we had a couple of days ago and you will receive some free advice. Now if you do not have a baby or a toddler, you may want to bypass this post and read about some cute kid quotes instead. If you become squeamish and grossed out by potty talk, you will definitely want to stop reading at this point.
Are you are still reading? You are not deterred? Ok, then, I warned you.
Here is the very valuable free advice you've been waiting for: While potty training, do not feed your child watermelon. It is as simple as that. Let me illustrate why.
8:00am Jason eats a lot of watermelon for breakfast. Patrick leaves the house saying, "You are going to be having a fun morning." "Oh, he'll be fine," I shrugged.
8:45am We return from dropping Josh off at school. I went into the house for 4 seconds and by the time I returned to the van, Jason had climbed into my seat and peed in it. It took me 10 paper towels to sop it up. It was like someone poured an entire cup of water on it. "I am mad," I said, "No more watermelon for you!"
9:30am Jason asks for watermelon. "I told you, there will be no more watermelon, but you can have applesauce intead," I quipped. To my amazement, he agreed. As he sat in his booster seat eating it, he let go again!! "No!! We need to get to the bathroom." "I'm peeing," Jason said. It proceeded off his booster through the rush seat on the chair beneath and into a lovely waterfall which pooled into a pond below. No, it was more than a pond... I think I could have fished for lake trout in the body of liquid he produced.
9:40am We are hosing off the chair outside and moping the kitchen. "Why does your father have to be so right, Jason???"
10:15am "I have to go potty," says Jason. I scoop him into my arms and run to the bathroom. "We made it," I exclaim with a satisfied grin. Jason sits on the potty. A stream then flies across the bathroom and hits the opposite wall. I can't believe this... I try to hold myself together and completely lose it. I am laughing uncontrollably, Jason is hamming it up, and the stream is still flying.
10:20am I wipe up and disinfect the bathroom.
10:30am I put Jason in a diaper.
10:35am "I want some watermemin. Can I have watermemin??"