A couple of weeks ago... ok, Easter Sunday to be exact, I had a Mommie Meltdown. Now this meltdown was inevitable, as it had been building to an ugly head for quite some time. I had felt the Lord prompting me to get away and spend some "up on the mountain" kind of time with Him. "I'm fine. I'll be fine," I kept saying. Why is it that Jesus went off to isolated places to be with His Father, and I, on the other hand, think I can power on through. Hmm.... could it be pride???
Then came that meltdown Sunday morning. Apparently, Josh had some expectations for the morning that we didn't quite meet. After many "talks," we all went to church in a foul mood. "Are you guys alright?" a friend asked. "No. Please pray for us!" Next, we did our best to sing praises to the Lord and adjust our attitudes, and things were looking better... until Jason decided to fidget and start talking in pretty high decibels, so we made our escape and I watched him run around the lounge for the next 40 minutes.
On the way home, my emotions peaked and I cried. "I've got to get out of here," I whimpered. "Yah, go, babe. Take as much time as you need. I got it covered," Patrick replied. So I donned a pair of jeans, and took my Bible and a notebook and headed toward a park in Shell Beach.
First, I took a "prayer walk" (as my friend Stephanie likes to call them), and then I settled down on an ocean front bench perched on a beautiful, rugged cliff. I prayed and I prayed. I sang into the salty breeze. He began to absorb all my cares in His majesty as I looked upon the expanse of His creation. In my stillness, I pondered His greatness, and ascribed to Him the honor that He is due. I attempted to write out my thoughts...
I am overwhelmed by your great beauty, O Lord
The breadth of your creation astounds me.
I feel your peace and calm in the soft breeze, the gentle waves,
The sun shining down on my tanned arms.
Your glory radiates in the shimmering blue waters.
You are immutable and strong, a steadfast rock.
I am small, enveloped in your tender embrace.
You dry my tears and heal my weary soul.
I am at rest and comforted by your touch.
In response, He blessed me with an incredible verse. Although I've read Isaiah 40 numerous times, I had never seen verse 11 in this light...
He tends his flock like a shepherd;
He gathers the lambs in his arms
And carries them close to his heart;
He gently leads those that have young.
Oh, how my Savior carries me close to His heart. How gently He leads this sometimes weary mother to His arms of rest. The next time He calls me, wooing me to come away with Him...
I hope I will hear His voice and run to His side.